The Dreaded Awkward Silence...

Good chat can make or break a date so the art of conversation is crucial if you’re going to click with someone. There’s no hiding in a one-on-one situation but remember, a date is a marathon not a sprint, so be prepared because you never know when one of those awkward silences is about to descend.

BAD DATE BLOG PART 5: AWKWARD SILENCES

It may seem a bit calculating but having a couple of prepared questions up your sleeve is no bad thing. My uni housemate, for example, always favoured ‘Do you play a musical instrument?’ as her back-up question….but then she is still single so maybe try and be a bit more creative! I certainly wish I’d had an emergency subject to fall back on recently when an absolute shocker of a conversation pause led to pretty disastrous consequences.

Let me set the scene – I’d met Rugby Boy in a bar the weekend before and we agreed to go for drinks. He was sweet, funny, and pretty easy to talk to so drinks seemed a safe bet. We met for a shandy or two in Clapham and we were getting on really well….the only problem was I just wasn’t sure if I was attracted to him. There wasn’t any real chemistry and I was definitely thinking more friend than fancy-man.

Still, we were having a great time chatting away and despite a few suggestive comments coming across the table from the rugger bugger, I was doing my best to keep things more friendly than flirty.

It was nearly closing time and I was feeling pretty pleased to have met such a great new mate when I could suddenly feel it coming – the awkward silence. He’d just returned from the bar with drinks and the conversation stalled – we had run out of things to say. He stared; I stared; he awkwardly played with a beer mat; I nonchalantly fiddled with my hair.

‘So…’ I began, racking my brains for a new topic of conversation. ‘How far is it to your place from here?’

Rugby boy slowly put the beer mat down, coyly smiled at me and slid his hand over the table to stroke mine in what I think was supposed to be an alluring way.

‘I thought you’d never ask, we can be back at mine in 5 - I’ll get us a cab.’

Oh no, awkward silence panic had led to a slightly provocative but totally accidental agreement to a first date sleepover! I racked my brains to think of a way to back track but I couldn’t work out what to say so another sizable silence descended on our table.

He dropped my hand abruptly as I stammered and explained I just had an interest in London geography and didn’t actually intend on joining him on the five minute journey back to his bachelor pad.

A cab was then indeed hailed but it was for a solo passenger as Rugby Boy made a speedy enough exit to keep any winger on their toes. An awkward goodbye, an even more awkward peck on the cheek and I was left standing outside the bar watching as his taxi disappeared into the distance.

That was the end of what could have been a beautiful friendship.

Written by our lovely, anonymous, bad date blogger!

The Tricycle Theatre

Do you know about this fab little theatre in Kilburn? Has anyone been? We've got ourselves rather excited about it, given that it's not only a theatre but also a gallery AND a cinema and there's a gorgeous bar and cafe to boot - perfect!

Whilst it's perhaps most famous for its controversial political theatre, we're liking the look of this month's rom com epic 'MIDSUMMER' which sounds hysterical! Have a look at the website for more information.

Enjoy!

Miss Mary x

Covent Garden Hotel Does it Again!

We're just so excited to hear about the latest BRILLIANT concept from Firmdale Hotels. Do you remember the weekend film club? That's the amazing deal at Covent Garden, Charlotte Street and Soho Hotels where you get your choice of a champagne tea or dinner followed by the 'film of the week' in one of their seriously funky private screening rooms. All for £35!

Well, we think they might just have bettered it... On Sundays in December, Covent Garden Hotel is hosting 'Sunday Afternoon Opera and Ballet'. They're screening some of the most beautiful and also most festive ballets and operas (filmed at The Royal Opera House), again complete with afternoon tea and again just for £35 per person.  Full details are below… we can't wait!

5th December:   La Traviata - Verdi 2009

12th December: La Boheme - Puccini 2009

19th December: The Nutcracker - Tchaikovsky Ballet 2009

26th December: Carmen - Bizet 2007

Contact the hotel for reservations.

Top 10 London Pubs with Open Fires

Winter is upon us, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Think red wine, hearty food and a roaring fire whilst you cosy up to the man / woman of your dreams! 

 

In no particular order, here is the Great Date Guide's pick of London's best 'open fire' venues...

1) The Lighthouse, Battersea

This wonderful local gastropub transforms effortlessly from a summer playground, with its huge decked garden, to the perfect hideaway for winter, with comfy sofas, board games and, yes, a large open fire! The seasonal British menu is excellent and the manageable but brilliantly varied wine list has something for everyone. Perfect for a relaxed date any day of the week.

2) The Anglesea Arms, Hammersmith

Another upmarket gastropub, the food here is renowned for its quality and the log fire an essential part of the 'old pub' feel. Lovely.

3) The Builders Arms, Chelsea

Always a favourite, this place is invariably jam packed during winter months. Around this time of year there's mulled wine on tap and the fire is always blazing - plus their Sunday roasts are legendary. Yum yum yum. 

4) The Bulls Head, Chiswick

A lovely old-fashioned pub right on the river. With a log fire and the interior largely a mixture of wood and old wine bottles, it's a truly cosy little spot. 

5) The Jerusalem Tavern, Clerkenwell

A tiny, slightly ragged looking old-fashioned pub (well, made to look old fashioned anyway!), this is a beer enthusiasts heaven. For the romantic however, get there early in the evening (and early in the week) and bag a table on their miniature mezzanine level - it's cosy romance exemplified.

6) The Dove, Hammersmith

A seriously cute pub tucked away down a small alley on the riverside walk from Hammersmith to Chiswick. With low beams and a flickering fire it's perfect for a winter date.  According to the Guinness Book of Records it's got the smallest separate bar in the UK. A good bit of pub trivia and a good excuse for getting cosy with your date - two things which we approve of!

7) The Crown, Islington

This is a pub with a very loyal following. Outdoor space in the summer and a roaring fire in the winter, it prides itself on its seasonal food with fresh home-bread baked every day! Delicious.

8) The Yorkshire Grey, Fitzrovia

A proper old-fashioned pub - just like in the olden days! You won't find gastro food here, but you will find a charming, friendly and cosy drinking hole, much loved by its locals. It’s a Samuel Smith pub so no 'branded' drinks here, but it's wonderfully traditional, very good value and a favourite of many a celebrity, so keep your eyes peeled…

9) The Princess Victoria, Shepherds Bush

Lovingly refurbished and restored this pub is a Victorian masterpiece beautifully brought up to date. The open fire is in the dining room rather than the bar, but with award winning, high-end gastro pub food, you won't be disappointed if you opt for dinner. They've also got a very impressive wine list...

10) The Orange, Pimlico

A stylishly rustic and fairly upmarket gastropub renowned for its fantastic food. We've heard the wood-fired pizzas are excellent and we rather like the little potted orange trees dotted about the place!

HIGHLY COMMENDED

The Drapers Arms, Islington

Whilst we can't really include this in the main list given its lack of an open fire, The Drapers Arms is a firm favourite foodie pub (chef is Karl Goward, ex head chef of St John) and does have three lovely wood burning stoves which lets face it, almost count!

Richmond Park

If you're familiar with The Great Date Guide you'll probably already know that we LOVE Richmond Park. You'll also know that we like to practice what we preach so, on a hungover, misty Sunday morning Miss Mary headed off to the park for a romantic stroll with her other half….

Waking up on Sunday morning after the fantastic wedding of one of my best friends (wondering why the clocks going back doesn't seem to have made any difference) my thoughts went something like this:

1) Why did I buy those cheep shoes? My feet are KILLING me! I did look good though ;)
2) Boy the wine was good. And the staff were excellent at refilling, and refilling, and refilling….
3) Our taxi driver should have his licence removed. I blame him for early on-set hangover.
4) Whose idea was it to get up (out of this warm, cosy bed) and drive out to Richmond and go for a walk in the rain? Mine? Well, it was a good one at the time…

Remembering it was my own plan, and never one to back down, I grabbed my boots, grabbed my other half, and headed off to the park.

After a quick cup of coffee in one of the park's many cafes we set off into the wild. OK not quite wild, but the nearest thing you'll get in London. It took about two seconds to realise that this was the perfect remedy for a hangover. Richmond Park is beautiful. At any time of year it always seams to revitalise, but on a misty autumn morning the colours are especially enchanting. It might have been the hangover talking but looking around it felt like watching on old TV with the volume turned down - all faded colours and muted sounds - breathtaking.

We headed up through ancient woodland to the White Lodge (home of the Royal Ballet Lower School and a memorable scene from Billy Elliot!) and then down again to the two huge lakes in the middle of the park.

At the first lake we witnessed an amazing show of machismo from a couple of feisty swans. Each determined to show the other who was boss, no doubt to win the affection of the lady next door. Then, at the second lake we saw part two of the story: swans in love! Watching their elaborate courtship ritual we felt like extras in a David Attenborough programme, finding ourselves whispering in classic documentary style… Leaving the lovers behind for a bit of privacy we tramped on through the park, hands held, feeling strangely euphoric and in love with the world!

Two hours, and a lot of fresh air, later we headed back towards the car park passing some seriously impressive stags on our way. Those guys definitely know a thing or two about dating techniques...

So, Richmond Park in the Autumn - a good place for a date? YES! If you're anything like us you'll leave all your worries at the car park and enjoy a couple of hours of fresh air and getting back to nature. We'd both had pretty hectic weeks so it was a great place to catch up, reconnect and just spend some time together, without distractions. 

It's London, but not as you know it.

The Bad Date Blog

Some more words of wisdom from our unlucky in love Bad Date Blogger, who has a cautionary tale to tell about the perils of mixing dating and alcohol!

It was inevitable that this subject would come up at some point, as dates and alcohol tend to go hand in hand. The venue is usually a pub, no one’s brave enough to suggest dinner, so 4 or 5 hours of solid drinking can often be the norm for first dates.

BAD DATE BLOG PART 4: DRINK

Now this can be tricky for the ladies. I don’t know about you but going drink for drink with a bloke can often have disastrous consequences. I usually sail past tipsy on the second G&T while my date has barely noticed he’s had a beer.  And although I make a fine art out of slurring and stumbling, it’s apparently just not that sexy.

Many dates and many drinks have taught me a few simple tricks to hold onto your sobriety for as long as possible:

1 - Pick your drink wisely, I, for example, seem to fare much better on spirits than wine.

2 - Order a softie when it’s your round – get the barman to stick it in the same glass and your date will never know.

3 - Most of all, keep your wits about you, as booze and embarrassment are never far apart. Have a good long think before you suggest another shot/going to a club/strip poker back at yours….

Despite best intentions things can still sometimes get out of hand and while I have many of my own stories I could share I will be using another’s bad date experience to fully illustrate how judgment can be impaired by one spritzer too many.

My friend Ben recently headed out on a first date with a girl he’d met online. She was fun, pretty, could hold a conversation, and things were going well. Drinks were flowing and several large glasses of chardonnay were definitely having an effect on his date.  Nothing too bad at first, lots of giggling, slightly red in the face, the odd slur. Until...

The conversation turned to university days and Ben and his lady-friend were regaling each other with tales of their drinking prowess. Ben told a few rugby club classics involving the usual nudity, vulgarity, and drinking injuries. His date, not to out-done, quickly retold the story of how she fell off stage while dancing along to a live performance of Chesney Hawkes at her Union:

‘Five stitches and seven visits to the dentist’ she said proudly ‘Look!’

Ben did his best to avoid looking as the girl popped out her false front teeth and placed them on the table next to his pint. She grinned proudly, with slightly less teeth than before, and took a big, gummy sip of her wine.

Ben is a nice guy but seeing a smile with enough gaps to rival a granny did put him off slightly and he chose not to get in touch again. She kept quiet too and I imagine the combo of the hangover and reliving the moment she whacked her dentures out were enough to make her keep her head down for a while.

Beware the booze girls.

Written by our lovely, anonymous, bad date blogger!

Oooooooooooh, Ahhhhhhhhh!

It's that wonderful time of year again when we remember just how much we love winter (enjoy it while you can, it's a feeling that lasts approximately four weeks). Crisp clear days, open fires, cosy knitwear and the constant threat of having to get into a bikini / trunks behind us for another year.

To add to this general feeling of wellbeing that has taken over at The Great Date Guide in recent days, we're starting to get excited about BONFIRE NIGHT! Hip hip hooray for the slightly dodgy Guy Fawkes and his menacing plans to blow up parliament. (I wonder if we'd celebrate it quite so much if he had succeeded?)

It's the 405th anniversary this year and as far as we're concerned that's as good a reason as any to go completely over the top with our celebrations. Think huge bonfires, spectacular pyrotechnics, toffee apples and mulled wine. Maybe even a spot of fancy dress?!

Visit the website for a full list of London's fireworks displays and get plotting... (Fawkes style).

GDG xxx