Thursday, 5 August 2010

The Bad Date Blog

Some more words of wisdom from our unlucky in love Bad Date Blogger, who made the fatal mistake of mixing burning hot oil with a third date...

So you’ve hopefully read my last blog and arrived at your date safely and in one piece but what now? The age-old question of what to do on a first date is a good one and should be thought through carefully… very carefully! Many a potential relationship has stalled due to over-ambitious or over-complicated dates so just watch it when coming up with a plan.

A fine example of this is my infamous Pancake Day date that seemed like such a good idea on paper and just went from bad to worse. It was a third date I think and the man in question wanted to cook me dinner. Excellent, I thought, there’s nothing more attractive than a bloke who can cook. I then realised that he’d suggested Shrove Tuesday so I said ‘Great, you cook dinner, I’ll do pancakes for dessert!’

It started rather well; I arrived at his flat and was pleasantly surprised to see it was a relatively girl-friendly zone. You never know what to expect when venturing into the man’s domain for the first time but his place was really nice, no beer can sculptures in the corner or Hollyoaks calendars on the walls – phew!

Wine was swiftly provided (the easiest way to make me feel at home) and he set to work in the kitchen. It all smelt delicious until a plate of suspiciously pink chicken was presented on the table in front of me. Right – what to do? Should I tuck in and hope for the best, or point it out and probably offend the chef? Is food poisoning ever sexy…? Too late to decide; he quickly spotted the problem and whisked my plate away, suggesting we move straight onto pancakes.

A lucky escape and it meant moving straight onto the fun part of the date – I mean how could anyone not love a bit of batter action? So the eggs were in the bowl, the oil was heating in the pan and a flipping challenge was quickly thrown out there by my date. Not being one to back down I limbered up and went for the full 360 degree flip. It might have been a slightly over-zealous attempt as I shot red-hot oil straight into my date’s eye who started screaming and holding his face in agony! ‘I’m blind! I’m blind!’

He quickly calmed down, as it must have occurred to him that his girlish screams were probably not attracting the lady, and suddenly manned up. But the damage had been done and any chance for romance got smaller and smaller as his eye got redder and redder!

It seemed a tactical retreat was the only answer so I made my excuses and left him to his eye bath. Funnily enough there wasn’t a fourth date – apparently some men just don’t like it when their dates maim them - what is the world coming to?

Written by our lovely, anonymous, bad date blogger!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. If I took scalding oil to the eye, I would be expecting at least a beej.

    I mean that's fair right?

  3. Clearly if you were on this date you'd be out of luck!

  4. This months bad date blog has been causing quite stir a on the website...

    Seems to have divided readers!

    Who do you think had the "bad" date?

    Miss Mary x

  5. No one's fault just clearly no chemistry! If she had liked him she would have enjoyed playing nurse ;)