Monday, 25 October 2010

The Bad Date Blog

Some more words of wisdom from our unlucky in love Bad Date Blogger, who has a cautionary tale to tell about the perils of mixing dating and alcohol!

It was inevitable that this subject would come up at some point, as dates and alcohol tend to go hand in hand. The venue is usually a pub, no one’s brave enough to suggest dinner, so 4 or 5 hours of solid drinking can often be the norm for first dates.

Now this can be tricky for the ladies. I don’t know about you but going drink for drink with a bloke can often have disastrous consequences. I usually sail past tipsy on the second G&T while my date has barely noticed he’s had a beer.  And although I make a fine art out of slurring and stumbling, it’s apparently just not that sexy.

Many dates and many drinks have taught me a few simple tricks to hold onto your sobriety for as long as possible:

1 - Pick your drink wisely, I, for example, seem to fare much better on spirits than wine.

2 - Order a softie when it’s your round – get the barman to stick it in the same glass and your date will never know.

3 - Most of all, keep your wits about you, as booze and embarrassment are never far apart. Have a good long think before you suggest another shot/going to a club/strip poker back at yours….

Despite best intentions things can still sometimes get out of hand and while I have many of my own stories I could share I will be using another’s bad date experience to fully illustrate how judgment can be impaired by one spritzer too many.

My friend Ben recently headed out on a first date with a girl he’d met online. She was fun, pretty, could hold a conversation, and things were going well. Drinks were flowing and several large glasses of chardonnay were definitely having an effect on his date.  Nothing too bad at first, lots of giggling, slightly red in the face, the odd slur. Until...

The conversation turned to university days and Ben and his lady-friend were regaling each other with tales of their drinking prowess. Ben told a few rugby club classics involving the usual nudity, vulgarity, and drinking injuries. His date, not to out-done, quickly retold the story of how she fell off stage while dancing along to a live performance of Chesney Hawkes at her Union:

‘Five stitches and seven visits to the dentist’ she said proudly ‘Look!’

Ben did his best to avoid looking as the girl popped out her false front teeth and placed them on the table next to his pint. She grinned proudly, with slightly less teeth than before, and took a big, gummy sip of her wine.

Ben is a nice guy but seeing a smile with enough gaps to rival a granny did put him off slightly and he chose not to get in touch again. She kept quiet too and I imagine the combo of the hangover and reliving the moment she whacked her dentures out were enough to make her keep her head down for a while.

Beware the booze girls.

Written by our lovely, anonymous, bad date blogger!


  1. Hmm. Boozery... dates.

    How do you get through the awkwardness of a date WITHOUT booze?

    Or does that mean I'm a... no, wait. Not going there.

  2. Ha ha! We're kind of with you on the need for a BIT of booze..... but when teeth start coming out you've got to call it a day!

  3. Loving the softie idea - would never have thought of it...

    Having said that, after a couple of drinks I still don't think I would think of it now!!!