New Year, Old Flame....

Those of you who follow my blog will know I wasn’t exactly blessed with good dating karma last year.

Blind dates, internet dates, they all seemed to go awry in their own special way. But not to be deterred I decided to throw myself into 2011 with a new and improved dating outlook – no more disasters, no more debacles, just good old-fashioned boy meets girl.

I was therefore thrilled when the first dating possibility of the year came from an old flame at university. We’d been on a couple of dates and although it had fizzled out I remembered him being fun, chatty and definitely a bit of a catch. He’d stayed up north after graduation rather than joining the mass exodus to London and I hadn’t heard much from him since. We sent the occasional text but this was the first time he’d wanted to meet up. He was heading to London for work and wanted to take me out to dinner – brilliant, the perfect start to my new year, new love life.

All the pre-date banter was spot-on; he was a man with a plan and had the bar, the restaurant, the timings all sorted.  I’m normally not one to commit to dinner on a first date as you never know how things are going to go and if you’ll end up stuck in a restaurant with your worst nightmare. But this was an old friend, no danger here I thought and happily agreed to his dinner date.

I nervously waited at the bar for the man I hadn’t seen for a few years and hoped he was just as I remembered him. And suddenly there he was – looking exactly as I remembered him… even down to the uni rugby top and slightly battered jeans that he always used to wear.

We ordered drinks and started reminiscing about our uni days – the people, the bars, the clubs, the Union… but we just didn’t seem to have anything else to talk about. We’d covered everything we had in common by the end of drink two and it was clear to me that whatever chemistry we had a few years ago was sadly long gone. I was sure he felt exactly the same and was about to suggest we leave it at just drinks when he brought up the restaurant.

‘I’ve made a reservation for 8.30 so we should get going – I can’t wait to take you to this place, it’s meant to be amazing!’ he said.

“Oh right…great then!’ I replied, not wanting to be rude when he seemed so keen to try this place.

10 minutes later and we were seated at the restaurant trying to drag out yet more uni conversation over two long and awkward courses. We were obviously both working hard to keep the chat going but the date was quickly falling flat. At long last it was time for the bill and we could both make our escape, and even though he’d made it clear he’d wanted to take me out for dinner it just didn’t seem fair to let him pay when it was so obvious there was no attraction from either side. 

When the bill was put on the table I reached into my handbag for my wallet and waited for him to do the same. I waited, and then I waited a bit more… click here to find out what happened in the end!

Written by our lovely, anonymous, bad date blogger!

The Dreaded Awkward Silence...

Good chat can make or break a date so the art of conversation is crucial if you’re going to click with someone. There’s no hiding in a one-on-one situation but remember, a date is a marathon not a sprint, so be prepared because you never know when one of those awkward silences is about to descend.

BAD DATE BLOG PART 5: AWKWARD SILENCES

It may seem a bit calculating but having a couple of prepared questions up your sleeve is no bad thing. My uni housemate, for example, always favoured ‘Do you play a musical instrument?’ as her back-up question….but then she is still single so maybe try and be a bit more creative! I certainly wish I’d had an emergency subject to fall back on recently when an absolute shocker of a conversation pause led to pretty disastrous consequences.

Let me set the scene – I’d met Rugby Boy in a bar the weekend before and we agreed to go for drinks. He was sweet, funny, and pretty easy to talk to so drinks seemed a safe bet. We met for a shandy or two in Clapham and we were getting on really well….the only problem was I just wasn’t sure if I was attracted to him. There wasn’t any real chemistry and I was definitely thinking more friend than fancy-man.

Still, we were having a great time chatting away and despite a few suggestive comments coming across the table from the rugger bugger, I was doing my best to keep things more friendly than flirty.

It was nearly closing time and I was feeling pretty pleased to have met such a great new mate when I could suddenly feel it coming – the awkward silence. He’d just returned from the bar with drinks and the conversation stalled – we had run out of things to say. He stared; I stared; he awkwardly played with a beer mat; I nonchalantly fiddled with my hair.

‘So…’ I began, racking my brains for a new topic of conversation. ‘How far is it to your place from here?’

Rugby boy slowly put the beer mat down, coyly smiled at me and slid his hand over the table to stroke mine in what I think was supposed to be an alluring way.

‘I thought you’d never ask, we can be back at mine in 5 - I’ll get us a cab.’

Oh no, awkward silence panic had led to a slightly provocative but totally accidental agreement to a first date sleepover! I racked my brains to think of a way to back track but I couldn’t work out what to say so another sizable silence descended on our table.

He dropped my hand abruptly as I stammered and explained I just had an interest in London geography and didn’t actually intend on joining him on the five minute journey back to his bachelor pad.

A cab was then indeed hailed but it was for a solo passenger as Rugby Boy made a speedy enough exit to keep any winger on their toes. An awkward goodbye, an even more awkward peck on the cheek and I was left standing outside the bar watching as his taxi disappeared into the distance.

That was the end of what could have been a beautiful friendship.

Written by our lovely, anonymous, bad date blogger!