the early days date

You've made it through the first date, you liked what you saw, and now you're full of eager anticipation for dates 2, 3 and 4! 'Early days' dating can be the most exciting and exhilarating of the lot, so it's important to make the most of it. Apart from anything else, this is the time for getting to know each other and for this reason your choice of dating activity and venue is key - make no mistake about it, you WILL be being judged! To help you on your way, here's what we hope is a fail safe guide to getting the best out of the early days date.

Mix it up

All going to plan, you'll go on a few of these fantastic early dates, which gives you the opportunity to try out a variety of different dating options. Just make sure you remember that word 'variety'. Three dinner dates in a row is an uninspiring choice and you'll risk the 'fizzle out'. Equally, three action packed adrenaline filled dates one after the other could just as easily send your date running for cover. Mix fun and interesting dates with relaxed and comfortable ones for the perfect combination.

It's not all about you

Opera may not be your idea of a great night out, but your date might simply adore it. Try and find out a little about his/her interests, and use the information to plan future dates. Not only will your questioning show that you are interested in them as a person, but if you can manage to remember some of it and incorporate it into the next date, you're guaranteed to please! (...showing that very thoughtful side of your personality whilst you're at it…)

Be honest… within reason!

There's not much point in not being yourself when you're building a new relationship, but clearly there will be some aspects of your personality that you might want to expose less than others! If you're renowned for your swagger, try and tone it down a little for the first few dates, whilst if you're not known for your adventurous spirit, make an effort to stretch your boundaries. A little self-improvement never goes amiss, and this is a good time to try it!

Who pays?

Here it is again, modern dating's enduring conundrum. You'll have got some clue from date number one as to what your date feels about this potentially sensitive issue, but as the dates go on the majority of people would expect some contribution from both parties. As well as being more fair, it also means that one party isn't left feeling indebted to the other. Whatever you do, just don't make a big fuss about it as you don't want your romantic date to end in financial bickering.

Don't expect too much

It's hard not to get excited when you've found someone you like, but do remember that it's pretty hard to tell where things are going to go this early on. You can ruin it for yourself by setting your expectations too high and not giving things a chance to develop.

The First Date - Our Guide

The first date, it’s a biggy. Whether it's the culmination of months of ground work or a ‘blind’ first meeting, the pressure is on. So, if the mere thought is enough to make you run and hide, here's my version of the basic rules to help you through. Who knows, if i'm right, your next 'first date' could also be your last!

1) Where to meet

You may know all the best places in Camden, but if your date resides in Camberwell they’ll be none too chuffed with the trek. Picking a location in their neck of the woods has also got its pitfalls however, as you may unwittingly pick somewhere that he / she loathes, or worse still the place they used to hang out with their ex. Tricky. The simple answer is to meet in the middle - don’t worry if that’s an area you don’t know much about - that’s what GDG exists for!

2) What to do

Clearly this depends on your personality, but you can’t go wrong with the standard evening drink. It’s easy to arrange, you’ve got hundreds to choose from and you get an alcohol flavoured helping hand to boot. Make sure you’ve got a plan for dinner afterwards assuming things go well. Dinner as a first date works well for many but do be aware that it can be hard to escape if the date turns out to be a bit of a damp squib. Alternatively do something a little different and go with an action date or try a twist on the classic cinema date - still a favourite with us.

3) Setting the tone

First impressions begin before you’ve even said hello, so getting the tone of the venue right is essential. Do you go for sophisticated or laid back? Cosy or chic? Grand or modest? The rule of thumb here is that whilst you’ve got to be seen to be making an effort, super smart or formal piles on unnecessary pressure and is best avoided. It may also terrify your date! Ideally what you need is somewhere relaxed but with a bit of a funky vibe, lots of atmosphere and plenty of other people around.

4) How to impress

This is easy. Make an effort but be relaxed about it. OK, so maybe it’s easier said than done but here are a few pointers:

• Wear something nice. It doesn’t have to be smart, but it does have to be attractive. We know you can do it.
• Be decisive in your ordering. Girl or boy, no one will like you if you can’t make decisions.
• Don’t worry about being interesting, it’s much more important to be interested. Find out about your date, listen to them, and if you catch yourself talking about yourself for too long, turn it around - quickly.
• Don’t, what ever you do, repeatedly look over his / her shoulder. You may well be finding the snogging couple behind a tad distracting, but constant glances at anything other than your date can be very off putting.
• Don’t get too drunk. It’s just not attractive.
• Finally and most importantly, smile a lot and be yourself. After all, if this is ever going to turn into something more, you’ve got to be liked for being you.

5) Who pays?

When it comes to paying the bill, be open minded - the two of you may have very different opinions about this. The basic rule of a first date is that the guy should offer to foot the bill (sorry boys…). Girls should offer to ‘go halves’. Just make a decision quickly and don’t drag it out.

6) How does it end?

It may be old fashioned, but we are of the strict opinion that inviting your date back to yours on date number one is a no no. By all means go for the lunge if you think you’re in with a chance, but go home to bed alone. If you really like them there will be plenty more opportunities to ‘sample their coffee’ but this way you’ll never do something you live to regret in the morning.

Want more pearls of wisdom? Check out www.thegreatdateguide.com with our compliments!