the early days date

You've made it through the first date, you liked what you saw, and now you're full of eager anticipation for dates 2, 3 and 4! 'Early days' dating can be the most exciting and exhilarating of the lot, so it's important to make the most of it. Apart from anything else, this is the time for getting to know each other and for this reason your choice of dating activity and venue is key - make no mistake about it, you WILL be being judged! To help you on your way, here's what we hope is a fail safe guide to getting the best out of the early days date.

Mix it up

All going to plan, you'll go on a few of these fantastic early dates, which gives you the opportunity to try out a variety of different dating options. Just make sure you remember that word 'variety'. Three dinner dates in a row is an uninspiring choice and you'll risk the 'fizzle out'. Equally, three action packed adrenaline filled dates one after the other could just as easily send your date running for cover. Mix fun and interesting dates with relaxed and comfortable ones for the perfect combination.

It's not all about you

Opera may not be your idea of a great night out, but your date might simply adore it. Try and find out a little about his/her interests, and use the information to plan future dates. Not only will your questioning show that you are interested in them as a person, but if you can manage to remember some of it and incorporate it into the next date, you're guaranteed to please! (...showing that very thoughtful side of your personality whilst you're at it…)

Be honest… within reason!

There's not much point in not being yourself when you're building a new relationship, but clearly there will be some aspects of your personality that you might want to expose less than others! If you're renowned for your swagger, try and tone it down a little for the first few dates, whilst if you're not known for your adventurous spirit, make an effort to stretch your boundaries. A little self-improvement never goes amiss, and this is a good time to try it!

Who pays?

Here it is again, modern dating's enduring conundrum. You'll have got some clue from date number one as to what your date feels about this potentially sensitive issue, but as the dates go on the majority of people would expect some contribution from both parties. As well as being more fair, it also means that one party isn't left feeling indebted to the other. Whatever you do, just don't make a big fuss about it as you don't want your romantic date to end in financial bickering.

Don't expect too much

It's hard not to get excited when you've found someone you like, but do remember that it's pretty hard to tell where things are going to go this early on. You can ruin it for yourself by setting your expectations too high and not giving things a chance to develop.

The Three Stage Strategy

Miss Mary was out for drinks last night and was chatting to a friend about his dating strategy. He employs the 3 Stage Date technique, which, here at the Great Date Guide, we are no strangers to. In fact, it's what we're all about: dates that combine different elements offering flexibility, excitement, variety… and lets not forget, the opportunity to scarper if it's all going wrong!

Stage 1: Drinks

Stage 2: Dinner

Stage 3: Cocktails

It's not rocket science.

However, he had a good tip for anyone using the 3 Stage Date strategy: make sure that Stage 1 Drinks happen somewhere that serves food. Why? You're date can't fail to be impressed when you say "no, no, we aren't staying here to eat, I've booked this great little restaurant nearby". Top marks for thinking ahead and booking dinner, bonus marks for making the effort to pick a second venue, it shows you've really planned your night which always goes down well. No one likes to think you've put zero effort into your evening with them. 

Remember, there is a fine line between spontaneity and just not bothering!

For some great date ideas incorporating the old multiple venue trick, take a look at the website.  Even better, if you've got some suggestions of your own then let us know! Either here, via the website or via Twitter.

secret supper clubs: part two

As promised... the team at the Great Date Guide have been busy putting together part two of our guide to London's finest supper clubs. Whether you're after dinner in a cosy hut in North West London, or in a trendy Loft out East, we're pretty sure we've got it covered. Dating and dining have never been so deliciously diverse!

The Underground Restaurant: Located in Kilburn North West London, run by blogger MsMarmitelover, it's a pioneer of the supper club movement in the UK. Dinners, lunches, brunches or teas are held once a week for up to 30 guests seated at large mixed tables. Private bookings from two to five people can be made for the summerhouse at the end of the garden. This charming shabby chic hut has a day bed and a wood burner = perfect for a great date!

Sheen Suppers: They've been open in East Sheen since July 2009 and serve excellent, wine-paired food every couple of weeks or so on a Friday and sometimes a Saturday night. Instead of sitting at a large table with strangers (admittedly part of the fun of a secret restaurant!) you can get cosy at a table for two in your hosts quirkily decorated house.

Civet Cat Club:  Run by a small group of chefs and enthusiasts from their home in Newington Green they serve delicious four course meals for up to 16 people in their candlelit loft. They've taken a break for the summer but will be back in action for autumn. Think informal, friendly, good food and good banter.

Rambling Restaurant:  Rambling Restaurant is a collective that creates extraordinary menus in unique spaces. They started (and still often hold their meals) in a Camden living room but their rambling has seen them barbequing bread for 200 in a Norwich field, turning a Waterloo squat into a fine dining room and dishing out wild rabbit stew in an old tram depot in Clapton. If you want weird and wonderful then this is the one for you! 

Clandestinos:  Clandestinos is a throwback to the good old days of prohibition speakeasies and the paladares in Cuba. You won't find them advertised anywhere and there's no name above the door or listing in the phone book.  They're discretely hidden away in a private Mews, behind a black gate, so only those in the know can get inside! It's not your typical secret underground restaurant but more of a small and intimate supper club with good food, good wine and candlelight!  Run once a month in Islington you and your date can enjoy a home cooked 3 course dinner featuring dishes from around the world (we're talking Brazil, Spain, Portugal and Italy).

Fernandez & Leluu: A secret supper club in East London (you'll get the address a day or two before your booking) where you'll be served top quality food made from the freshest ingredients, and up to 8 courses of it! The Spanish and Vietnamese partnership means you'll get some great flavours, but again, remember to book early, this place is popular with foodies.

The First Bite is With the Eye: Run by a real foodie who, in her own words, is a frustrated chef, The First Bite is all about the grub. Emily is seriously passionate about food and aims to share her love and passion with her guests in a relaxed and fun environment in Putney, where everyone goes away not only satisfied from the food but the evening as a whole. 

Joginder’s: A mother and daughter run supper club in North London, Joginder's offers delicious North Indian Punjabi food in an informal atmosphere.  With no kick out time Joginder's is perfect for a relaxed supper with delicious food and great company.

Tudor Road: Based in London Fields in East London, it seats around 12 people, with a menu that changes every week, depending on what's good at the market or on the farms. The produce comes from fairly small independent producers, such as The Ginger Pig, Neals Yard Dairy and Chegworth Juices. Your host, Ben, has worked at Noma in Copenhagen; the worlds number 1 restaurant so you can be pretty sure of a fantastic meal.

The Loft: Definitely at the high end of supper clubs at £120-per-head, the Loft Project is the brainchild of Portuguese chef Nuno Mendes. Originally set up as a temporary supper club and personal test kitchen, the Loft has now become a platform for the next generation of talented chefs to take up residency and showcase their food. Chefs are invited from top kitchens around the world to host dinners for guests around one communal table. The Loft Project takes evening bookings on Thursday, Friday and Saturday each week and makes for a GREAT date!

The Czars Banquet: Located near the Caledonian Tube this is a supper club with a difference!  Your hosts, Olga and Helen, are passionate about developing a modern Russian cooking style that respects Russian traditions whilst also moving with the times: Russian fusion food.  Their suppers are inventive and often themed, but there is always one Russian tradition they never do without – vodka!

If you know of any other supper clubs that aren't listed here (really - can we have missed any?!) then please let us know about them in the comments section here or on our Facebook page.

secret supper clubs: part one

Here at the Great Date Guide we're all about secrets, and letting you in on them! So, here is our pick of the best secret supper clubs in London. Perfect for a delicious dinner date with a difference! We love the illicit nature of the supper club, not to mention the fabulous food and wonderful atmosphere that you'll experience.

We were planning on doing our top 10 but we discovered so many fantastic and original underground restaurants that we couldn't narrow it down!  Make sure you click on the links to find out about dates, venues (you'll probably only be told a few days before your dinner!) and suggested donations.

So, here is part one of our pick from London's exciting and original supper club scene - part two coming soon...

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Bootleg Banquet: One of the Kings of the underground restaurant revolution, based in an abandoned pasta delivery kitchen in trendy Shoreditch. You'll be treated to delicious food, an in-house DJ and an eclectic bunch of dining companions. Helio and Pieter are extremely talented chefs with an impressive resumé - you won't be disappointed, but book early because this place is popular.

Lex Cook You Eat: You only have to read the reviews to know that Lex Eat is a hugely popular supper club. Now in a smaller, more intimate, venue on Regent’s Canal, Alexis and Yohanna offer their guests superbly cooked food in a stylish and relaxed atmosphere.  Our favourite touch? Little messages to their guests written on the brown paper tablecloth!

The Old Hat Club: A pop-up restaurant based in Angel. Run by four friends who strive for well executed, home cooked, modern comfort food and a great laugh. It's not a quick bite to eat, but a slow, relaxing Sunday lunch cooked mainly in their outside wood-fired oven and eaten in the comfort of their home (and garden when the sun is shining!). Enjoy a Bloody Mary on arrival and let the good times roll!

The Secret Ingredient: Run by the excitable, Dennis the Menis apron wearing, Horton Jupiter this is a deliciously chaotic supper club. Since opening in mid January 2009 they've been serving 8 or 9 course meals of exotic vegetarian Japanese food  - people ask "why Japanese?"  because it's sexy says Horton! After a recent success serving tapas they've come up with a new concept - well, a new word actually, JAPAS! Held in a council flat in Newington Green every other Wednesday/Thursday, this is one quirky supper club!

The Friday Food Club: Set in the heart of Blackheath Village in the old GPO film studios, now a seriously funky apartment, Lee Behan, your classically trained Chef and host, cooks fantastic British Food with a modern twist with inspiration from the global larder. He also lets other chefs loose in his kitchen! Mark Hix, Dhruv Baker (Masterchef fame) and Anna Hansen to name but a few… Expect excellent food and a great atmosphere, but as usual, book in early!

Cucina Cinzia: Flown over from Tuscany for the supperclub, Cinzia (and Fulham based Jill) want to welcome you into a Tuscan family atmosphere, serving authentic seasonal Tuscan food; things that you wouldn't normally find in Italian restaurants in London.  Their supper club is everything that you would associate with an Italian family supper: delicious home cooked food, an informal atmosphere and a real love of entertaining.

The Secret Larder: The Secret Larder is run by food writer James Ramsden and his sister Mary at their flat in North London. The atmosphere is cosy and welcoming, the food lovingly cooked, and the guests welcome to stay as long as they like. Sounds pretty good to us! It runs every other Thursday.

White Room Supperclub:  Located close to the Barbican in a stylish venue, with great views over town, this club is perfect to come to with your date, or in the hope of finding one! You'll be served delicious food in slick surroundings with a special emphasis on meeting new people and mingling. Every evening starts with a drink and canapés before being seated on one  big table for the meal. The location makes this one perfect for an original post work date…

Love a Locavore: A fabulous little pop up in the Sands End area of Fulham, the essence of which is UK grown seasonal food, much of which comes fresh from the owners family kitchen garden in the Costwolds.   This pop-up really is perfect for a date because, not only is the food delicious, but you have the opportunity to sit at a romantic table for two overlooking the "restaurant", or if you're feeling more sociable, you can join in at a table of 6 - 8 diners.

Eat Meet Supperclub: They've had a break over the summer but should be back in action again in Brockley this autumn. Eat Meet Supperclub is fun and relaxed with every other supper being a singles supper club, and sometimes themed… Expect good food and good times!

Nomad Chef: A secret restaurant in the heart of Holland Park where an ever changing group of adventurous, interesting, eclectic food lovers meet to eat food from all over the world, and share stories and artifacts of their lives… in the true Nomad tradition.  Perfect for the free spirited adventurous daters amongst you! 

The Savoy Truffle Supperclub: Operating from a lounge in Blackheath (and other pop-up venues) this laidback monthly supper club is underground and exclusive, promising a multi-course feast of fabulous locally-sourced food (the veg comes from their allotment or a farm, just seven miles away), a buzzing atmosphere, a chance to meet new people, to talk to the chef - and to get a peek inside his home! Want to impress your date? Just tell them your guerilla chef has cooked for Orlando Bloom, James MacAvoy, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall... 

Keep an eye out for part two, appearing on the website soon…

Brilliant Restaurant

To kick start my 'curry makes a great date crusade', GDG was treated to a very pleasurable evening at the Brilliant Restaurant in Southall last night, an Indian Restaurant made famous by Mr Gordon Ramsay himself. 

Whilst Southall (where?) may not be renowned as one of London's top culinary hotspots, we had been assured by a fairly reliable source that this would be the finest curry we would ever taste. So, full of anticipation, we made the long trek west, enjoying several highlights along the way such as a fried chicken shop called 'XFC' (looking remarkably similar to Colonel Sanders' well known Kentucky eatery), and an electrical goods shop called 'A Shoka'. Well, it kept us entertained anyway…

Dinner itself was no disappointment. A range of tandoori chicken starters along with generous portions of Kenyan style Tilapia fish was a mouthwatering start. Our mains were the outstanding Methi Chicken, their signature dish, and Chicken Palak, a combination of succulent chicken with freshly chopped spinach in a delicious masala sauce. Perfection. The staff were cheery and attentive, much buoyed by their recent Ramsay-driven fame (the F Word episode featuring Brilliant Restaurant was proudly played on a large flat screen TV). We dined like Marharaja's.

Well, if you name your restaurant 'Brilliant', you sort of have to deliver, don't you...  

The Bad Date Blog

Some more words of wisdom from our unlucky in love Bad Date Blogger, who has a cautionary tale to tell about friends bearing photographs…

A great way to get out there on a few dates is to call on your friends for a set-up or two. Most people I know always love a bit of matchmaking and are more than willing to help you find a date for Friday night - usually some amazing catch that they’ve been hiding away from you for years. But beware, while I’m sure much happiness has been found using this technique, make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into, and more importantly that you tell your friends exactly what you’re looking for.

BAD DATE BLOG PART 3: THE SET-UP

My tale starts with a suggestion of a set-up from my housemate with his friend from work. I happily agreed to a photo exchange, which now seems to be standard practice for set-ups of any kind. I quickly sent off the most recent photo of myself I could find on facebook where I wasn’t drunk/hungover/embarrassing myself. This was easier said than done but thankfully the fancy dress outfit didn’t scare off my potential date and an email with his chosen piccies soon arrived in my inbox. First impressions were not bad – nice smile, tall, full head of hair – pretty much all I’m looking for in a man…. Ok, so maybe not 100% my type but definitely worth a drink.

So a week and a bit later and I was heading off to meet my set-up for a drink in South Ken. I was feeling pretty optimistic, he’d chosen a great bar to meet in, seemed lovely on pre-date texts, and of course, I’d already seen the photos….

I wandered into the pub and started scanning the crowd, but no one was looking familiar apart from the spitting image of my dad’s best friend propping up the bar in the corner. I did a double-take but ignored him as there was no way the 65 year grandfather of three from Oxford would have been downing a pint in London on a Tuesday night.

Thinking I must have arrived a bit early, I grabbed a table and planned to wait for my date to come to me. But 5 or 10 minutes passed and still nothing… until I catch the eye of Gramps at the bar. He stares back. He smiles. He heads over to my table…

copyright Xavier  Bertels 

Unsure what to do I smiled nervously back as he approached wondering what this old man might want. I started to feel uneasy as he pulled out a chair at my table, sat down, and started to speak:

‘Hi ****, I didn’t see you come in – what would you like to drink?’

Damn, he knows my name, definitely my “blind” date then, as I realise the photo evidence I had seen must have been taken more than a few years (and dress sizes) ago. Not exactly what had been advertised by my housemate. Right, only one thing for it -

‘Mine’s a gin and tonic. Large’

Several drinks later I was actually having a good time. My OAP escort was pretty funny and easy to talk to… it was just a crying shame that he looked 30 years older than every other bloke in the pub! Did I have a good evening? Yes. Did sparks eventually fly? Ummm, no.  As lovely as he was I just didn’t fancy him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a firm believer that personality is much more important than looks but I don’t think love was going to flourish when my first impression was disappointment. I was promised a tasty-looking young chap but ended up with a slightly more ‘distinguished’ gentleman.

It certainly hasn’t put me off set-ups as it was a perfectly pleasant evening but I’ll be wary of friends bearing photos in future. Needless to say I had words with my housemate - false advertising just isn’t cool people.

Written by our lovely, anonymous, bad date blogger!

Curry

It's the wonderful Brick Lane Curry Festival this Sunday, during which over 200 chefs and 50 local restaurants will 'curr-ify' the whole of... yes, you guessed it, Brick Lane. It's got me wondering why, despite the British obsession with this eastern delight, 'going for a curry' does not feature more highly in the rankings of dating options?

I know very few people who don't like curry. In fact, most people I know simply LOVE the stuff. Yet I've never been taken to a curry house on a first date, and I'm not convinced that I'd have been particularly impressed if I had. Sure, I've had many a romantic night in with a take-away, and an evening out at our local Indian is definitely a treat, but for some reason I simply can't imagine being taken there on a first, or even second or third date. 

I wonder why? Is it because we don't consider it exciting enough? (If anyone else is mourning the loss of Westbourne Grove's Urban Turban you'll surely disagree with this one...) Is it because we can't shake off the image of drunken boys and that awful Vindaloo song? Is it simply because, with one on every other corner of London, it just seems a bit too easy?

Whatever the reason, I vote for a change of heart and am hereby promoting the return of the curry house as a dating staple. So how about kicking it all off with a day of exotic gluttony at the Brick Lane Curry Festival, in… yes, Brick Lane.

Miss Mary x